Game Changer.
Hello, hello!
I truly am terrible at introductions. A part of me hopes that one day I will get better and the other part of me has come to terms with my terrible introductions. Anyways, I guess I could start off by saying that this post has been a few weeks in the making. It began as a single sentence in the notes section of my phone and was added to/made sense of as time went on.
The beginning sentence was typed up in the middle of the night when my mind wouldn't let me rest. I was wide awake and thinking of home when I pulled out my phone and typed up "the Lord has changed the game." Now, before I explain this sentence, I should give some background on myself.
I am a planner. Not so much a day-by-day planner but I am very much a "big picture" planner. I have a very detailed idea of what my next five years will look like and any deviation from this idea makes me nervous. My five year plan involves ministry, peace corps work, and many other things--most of which involve traveling. Now, I obviously wanted to end up in Cruces at some point but that was the part--and really only part--of my plan that I decided to leave up to God (if you look up "oh, you of little faith" in the dictionary, my name would probably show up as the definition). Everything else in those five years, however, is planned out to the month.
So, when I decided that this is what I wanted to do and who I wanted to become, I began to tell everyone around me about my plans. I identified myself as a world traveler. My identity was rooted in this version of myself that I created. So as most would do, I began planning a semester abroad. I decided that world-traveler Sydney would probably spend a semester in Spain so that is what I planned for--I then considered this trip the first of many grand adventures. Now, mind you, I had this plan (the plan to be a traveler) engraved on my heart for almost two years--I decided that this is what the Lord had planned for me. Despite my homesickness, despite my deep roots in Cruces, despite really everything about my personality that would generally call me closer to home, I decided that the Lord had decided (it's as twisted as it sounds) that I was going to be a traveler. So, that's who I became.
Okay, now is when we can talk more about that initial sentence that I typed up in my phone. I am officially two months into my abroad adventure and I can tell you that the Lord has definitely changed the game. By that, I mean that they Lord has opened up my eyes to the fact that maybe this whole "world-traveler" identity was more of my decision than it was His. Sort of similar to how a person might twist what you are saying to make sure they hear what they want to hear--I think that is what I was doing with the Lord. These past two months have been very odd in that the Lord has opened my eyes and allowed me to see things about myself that I may have been to stubborn to see back home: things that really point from all directions to my near future lying in Cruces.
I was speaking to someone the other day about how two months ago, I would have been so upset if the Lord had told me that maybe the plans changed. Truthfully, two months ago I probably would have been too stubborn to even have that conversation with the Lord because my mind had been made up. Now, however, my heart has changed and so the Lord is making His move and changing my plans. When I think about how the Lord (in this season) has called me to Cruces, I am overwhelmed with a sense of joy and peace. Now, obviously, I can't speak to the sureness of this change-of-plans (otherwise the whole post would be worth nothing) but I can speak to the way it makes me feel: at peace.
So I have a prayer for both of us tonight (you reading this as well as myself) that we offer ourselves and our plans as complete sacrifices to the Lord. I pray that we don't pick and choose what we want to hear, rather we open our hearts and take the Lord's plan for what it is. Friends, the Lord is so good and His plan is so much greater than ours. He knew, before I was even born, what was best for me and He also knew the best way to communicate it: all the way in Pamplona, Spain. So, I'm grateful. I am half way through this great adventure and the words that resonate are grateful and renewed. I pray those words over you tonight.
In Christ,
Syd
I truly am terrible at introductions. A part of me hopes that one day I will get better and the other part of me has come to terms with my terrible introductions. Anyways, I guess I could start off by saying that this post has been a few weeks in the making. It began as a single sentence in the notes section of my phone and was added to/made sense of as time went on.
The beginning sentence was typed up in the middle of the night when my mind wouldn't let me rest. I was wide awake and thinking of home when I pulled out my phone and typed up "the Lord has changed the game." Now, before I explain this sentence, I should give some background on myself.
I am a planner. Not so much a day-by-day planner but I am very much a "big picture" planner. I have a very detailed idea of what my next five years will look like and any deviation from this idea makes me nervous. My five year plan involves ministry, peace corps work, and many other things--most of which involve traveling. Now, I obviously wanted to end up in Cruces at some point but that was the part--and really only part--of my plan that I decided to leave up to God (if you look up "oh, you of little faith" in the dictionary, my name would probably show up as the definition). Everything else in those five years, however, is planned out to the month.
So, when I decided that this is what I wanted to do and who I wanted to become, I began to tell everyone around me about my plans. I identified myself as a world traveler. My identity was rooted in this version of myself that I created. So as most would do, I began planning a semester abroad. I decided that world-traveler Sydney would probably spend a semester in Spain so that is what I planned for--I then considered this trip the first of many grand adventures. Now, mind you, I had this plan (the plan to be a traveler) engraved on my heart for almost two years--I decided that this is what the Lord had planned for me. Despite my homesickness, despite my deep roots in Cruces, despite really everything about my personality that would generally call me closer to home, I decided that the Lord had decided (it's as twisted as it sounds) that I was going to be a traveler. So, that's who I became.
Okay, now is when we can talk more about that initial sentence that I typed up in my phone. I am officially two months into my abroad adventure and I can tell you that the Lord has definitely changed the game. By that, I mean that they Lord has opened up my eyes to the fact that maybe this whole "world-traveler" identity was more of my decision than it was His. Sort of similar to how a person might twist what you are saying to make sure they hear what they want to hear--I think that is what I was doing with the Lord. These past two months have been very odd in that the Lord has opened my eyes and allowed me to see things about myself that I may have been to stubborn to see back home: things that really point from all directions to my near future lying in Cruces.
I was speaking to someone the other day about how two months ago, I would have been so upset if the Lord had told me that maybe the plans changed. Truthfully, two months ago I probably would have been too stubborn to even have that conversation with the Lord because my mind had been made up. Now, however, my heart has changed and so the Lord is making His move and changing my plans. When I think about how the Lord (in this season) has called me to Cruces, I am overwhelmed with a sense of joy and peace. Now, obviously, I can't speak to the sureness of this change-of-plans (otherwise the whole post would be worth nothing) but I can speak to the way it makes me feel: at peace.
So I have a prayer for both of us tonight (you reading this as well as myself) that we offer ourselves and our plans as complete sacrifices to the Lord. I pray that we don't pick and choose what we want to hear, rather we open our hearts and take the Lord's plan for what it is. Friends, the Lord is so good and His plan is so much greater than ours. He knew, before I was even born, what was best for me and He also knew the best way to communicate it: all the way in Pamplona, Spain. So, I'm grateful. I am half way through this great adventure and the words that resonate are grateful and renewed. I pray those words over you tonight.
In Christ,
Syd
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