Deliverance.

I've been a bit heartbroken lately. I, like most (if not all) people, go through seasons of joy and seasons of sorrow. This season has clearly taken a sorrowful tone and I can't put words to exactly why. My heart aches for many things and this heartbrokenness--almost on a daily basis--leaves me in tears and leaves me exhausted. The sadness I feel is heavy and it shows itself in odd ways. I find myself crying over small things like the rain and feeling no motivation whatsoever to get out of bed in the morning. Now, before I continue, I'd like to mention that I do know what some of you are thinking. Yes, this sadness is a bit deeper than what most people feel but that is okay. Before you diagnose me with anything, continue reading. This isn't actually about me.

See, back to the good stuff, it seems like in this time, I know my battle. I wake up in the morning and pray hard against my enemy and prepare to fight the good fight. I wake up and clothe myself with the armor named off in Ephesians and pray that I somehow find the strength to make it through the day. However, that doesn't change the fact that most days, I still wake up feeling the things I am feeling. Hearing this, someone might sit back and argue that my prayers aren't working...and on most days, I could agree with them. I go to church and sing songs that say "bring your sorrows and trade them for joy" and it seems like time and time again, I lay my sorrows and the foot of the cross and a sort of "return to sender" label shows up and I am left with nothing but to continue carrying my sorrows. Like I said, this has been a sorrowful time. Bear with me.

I spent this past month reading out of Genesis and something in chapter 15 really seemed to resonate with me. The Lord was speaking to Abraham (at the time he was known as Abram) when He said that his descendants (later known as the Israelites) would be held in captivity for 400 years in a foreign land. We can later see in the Exodus that when the Israelites are finally brought out of slavery (after 400 years), they still wandered the desert for 40 years before they finally reached the promised land. That's a long wait for a promise. A long wait for deliverance.

Where am I going with this you ask? That's a good question. See, one thing about our father is that He is very good at keeping promises. In fact, He's quite perfect at it. And it's easy to recognize that as He is answering your prayers right in front of you. However, it's when your life seems more like that of the Israelites that it's harder to remain loyal to Him--to remain confident in His promises. But, like I said before, the beauty of our prayer-answering creator is that He hears them and answers them one way or another...and on His own time.

So, if you are feeling the same way I am feeling--like you are wandering in the desert or held in captivity--let me take a moment to speak some truth over you.

1. Our Father is much greater than our circumstance. Yes, it sounds cliche because it is. You've heard it a million times but please believe me when I say that He is greater. Whether you are in a season of great joy or a season of great sorrow, the Lord and His promises are better and bigger.

2. You are never too far from the kingdom. Trust me, I get it: it's easy to internalize the lie that our shortcomings and failures will separate us from the kingdom. It's easy to believe that eventually, we will be so far gone that the promise of a kingdom is long in the past. Please know that the kingdom of heaven is at hand as long as you keep your gaze fixed, that promise will always stand.

3. You are never too far from the Savior. You are never too far from the Savior. Let me say it one more time because this is so important: you are never too far from the savior. There will be times that you disagree with me on this. Truthfully, there are times where I will disagree with me on this. But, Paul puts it best: "for I believe that neither life nor death, neither angels nor demons, neither present nor future, nor any powers...can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Savior" Romans 8:38-39. That is the actual word of God telling you that there is nothing that can separate you. I have nothing left to say about this.

4. The trials aren't forever. I know, I know: this is another one we hear all the time but do you truly believe it? I can honestly tell you that a month ago, I would have told you that maybe some trials do last forever. But here is your joy: if our life on this earth is temporary, so are our trials. There is no room in heaven for hurt and pain, only room for the presence of the Lord and all that encompasses. The pain isn't forever--deliverance is near. You will find healing.

5. You are loved beyond measure--truthfully. Undeniably. "But God demonstrated His love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" Romans 5:8. The creator of the universe sent His only son to pay the price for your sins--solely so you could spend forever in paradise with Him. The Father’s love for us is so much deeper and stronger than we could ever conceptualize. He knows our hearts better than we know ourselves. His pursuit of our hearts is strong and an break through any barrier. It surpasses any circumstance. Walk in the love, my friend. Cling to the unwavering truth.

This has been a long post but it felt necessary. Sweet friend of mine, our Father is so kind to us. His love is relentless and His gentleness calms even the worst of our storms. Sometimes, the storms feel like they rage on and He will never calm them (trust me, I feel that way most days) but He is loyal. Loyal to His people for 440 years in the Exodus. Loyal to you in what seems like the never-ending battle. Loyal to me in my heartbreak. He is loyal and good. He is kind. My prayer is that we as believers not only recognize these sweet attributes of the Father but we truly believe them in the deepest depths of our hearts. We believe that He is loyal and He will bring healing to our hearts even if it takes 440 years.

Amen.
Syd.